TRADITION
DECEMBER IS THE MONTH WHEN THE KIDS BEGIN TO DISCUSS WHAT TO GET DAD FOR CHRISTMAS. SOME INSIST ON A SHIRT, OTHERS A PAIR OF SOCKS, AND THE ARGUMENT ALWAYS ENDS IN A TIE.
THE GIFT
THREE-YEAR-OLD JOSIE WAS HELPING WRAP A PRESENT FOR HER FATHER. WHILE THEY WERE WRAPPING, HER MOTHER KEPT REMINDING HER DAUGHTER ABOUT KEEPING THE PRESENT A SECRET SO IT WOULD BE A SURPRISE. AFTER THE PRESENT WAS WRAPPED, SHE PROUDLY PUT IT UNDER THE TREE. WHEN HER FATHER CAME HOME, HE SAW THE PRESENT IMMEDIATELY. HE ASKED THE LITTLE GIRL, "WHAT IS IT?" "I CAN'T TELL," SHE SAID PROUDLY, WITH A LOOK TOWARDS MOM. "IT'S A SURPRISE." "CAN I SHAKE IT AND GUESS WHAT'S INSIDE?" ASKED DAD. "NO," SHE REPLIED, "SHIRTS DON'T RATTLE."
THE DIPLOMAT
WHILE WORKING AS A MALL SANTA, I HAD MANY CHILDREN ASK FOR ELECTRIC TRAINS. "IF YOU GET A TRAIN," I WOULD TELL EACH ONE, "YOU KNOW YOUR BROTHER DALLAS IS GOING TO WANT TO PLAY WITH IT TOO. IS THAT OKAY?" THE USUAL ANSWER WAS A QUICK YES. BUT AFTER I ASKED DAMON THIS QUESTION, HE BECAME VERY QUIET. TRYING TO MOVE THE CONVERSATION ALONG, I ASKED WHAT ELSE HE WOULD LIKE SANTA TO BRING HIM. HE PROMPTLY REPLIED, "ANOTHER TRAIN."
TWO YOUNG BOYS WERE SPENDING THE NIGHT AT THEIR GRANDPARENTS THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS. AT BEDTIME, THE TWO BOYS KNELT BESIDE THEIR BEDS TO SAY THEIR PRAYERS WHEN THE YOUNGEST ONE BEGAN PRAYING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE! AND AN XBOX! AND I PRAY FOR THE NEW IRON MAN COMIC BOOK!" HIS OLDER BROTHER LEANED OVER AND NUDGED THE YOUNGER BROTHER AND SAID, "WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING YOUR PRAYERS? GOD ISN'T HARD-OF-HEARING." TO WHICH THE LITTLE BROTHER REPLIED, "NO, BUT GRANDMA IS!"
- KEEP LAUGHING/KEEP SMILING